Hey there! I started this blog because I have an undeniable desire to document and share the journey I’m about to take. I’m in an incredibly bad situation. Having over $332,000 in debt is . . . really bad. Perhaps I should alert the governor because this is, certainly, a state of emergency. I intend to come out on the other side of it. Because I truly believe that I will see the other side of this, I’m hoping that someone can benefit from watching me do it and by me sharing while it’s happening.
How long should you try? Until.
~ Jim Rohn
There was a time when I thought that I had done the right things. I got an Ivy League undergraduate degree. Immediately thereafter I went and earned a law degree from a top 10-ranked law school. I’ve stayed off the pole (though I totally don’t knock a stripper girl’s hustle) and haven’t had any illegitimate children with some clown (again, no judgment – just facts). I really thought that I had set myself up to be in a good situation.
Somewhere, somehow, I got totally derailed. I stopped paying attention. I’ve never considered myself to be a “head in the sand” kind of girl, but I had to be on some silly shit in order to wake up and one day be in hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt and struggling to pay it. I can identify some twists, turns, and unexpected things that came up (I’ll talk about them in later posts), but I should have definitely realized the gravity of my situation earlier. I started to realize that I was in trouble about a year ago, but it isn’t until now that I can say I’m thoroughly aware that the circumstances are absolutely dire.
If you were to look at my life from the outside, you’d probably wouldn’t guess my situation. I look like I’ve got my act together. How do I know? People tell me all the time. Even when I’m being completely transparent, I have to almost convince people into believing that things are not as they appear. “No, really,” I say, “I promise . . . I’m broke as shit. Don’t let the loft condo fool you.” I drive a nice car (although that may change at some point along this journey), I’ve got hardwood floors, brick walls, and stainless steel appliances. I’ve held on to some flattering wardrobe pieces for many years that manage to give the illusion that I’m not the negative net worth forty-something that I am.
I’m also a single girl. I think that documenting this journey from that perspective is important because it seems that there are significantly fewer stories about unmarried, non-cohabitating persons getting out of debt – especially the kind of debt that I’m tackling. Many a Dave Ramsey debt free scream involves a couple (with or without children) who became closer as they learned how to cook together and spent more evenings Netflix and Chillin’. They make beanin’ and ricein’ a bonding experience. Though getting into a relationship isn’t anywhere near the top of my list right now (I’ve got bigger fish to fry right now), I don’t want to come out on the other side of this situation debt free, but with rusty dating skills and no friends. So, the dating show will go on – even in the midst of this financial storm.
I’m blogging for one fundamental reason – I think I’ve got something important and helpful to say. Saying it is valuable to me and, hopefully, you, too. I’ve been a journaler for most of my life, so I’m already aware of the benefit that getting these words out will have for me. I want my story to benefit someone else, as well. While getting serious about embarking on this journey, I’ve been inspired and encouraged by the stories of others. I want my story to do the same. I want to be encouraging. There’s value in getting the story in real time and watching it unfold. Though I’ve never before shared with others like this in real time, I’m prepared to do it now.
I’ll use this blog as a chronicle of me getting out of tsunami-sized debt, while being a single woman who works for herself. All of these aspects – the debt part, the self-employment hustle, and the singleness piece could each be completely separate blogs. Each offers its own set of adventures, triumphs and hilarity.
On the debt-slaying side of the blog, you’ll see my huge, hairy financial mess. I’ll be tracking debt payments, balances, and my net worth. The self-employment income piece will be rolled into this discussion.
On the single girl side, you’ll get the inside scoop on what it’s like to date while getting my life together. This, coming from a woman who, right now, frankly doesn’t care. I’m so focused on cleaning up my mess that it is impacting my openness or interest in a romantic relationship. A guy friend of mine said to me the other day that, in the wise words of his grandfather, “The best time for a woman to date is when she doesn’t give a fuck about dating.” That would be me. I’m so consumed with getting my life together, that I cannot be bothered with anyone’s serious relationship. This is an unusual position for me. I’m basking in it while it’s here. You’ll learn more about this in later posts.
So why would you bother to come here regularly? Here’s three reasons:
- If you’re going through something similar, you’ll understand that you’re not alone. We’ll be virtual buddies, dealing with successes and failures together.
- You’ll be able to connect with someone who probably has it worse than you and has not given up. In other words, you might find some hope.
- Interesting stuff happens to me. You might actually be entertained by some of my stories. Look – dating in these streets today can be both fun and funny. Living in a major metropolitan area, you see some noteworthy things. I pride myself on being able to relate to many different types of people. That mindset makes me willing to explore a range of different environments and events. Being so open gives me great exposure, along with the chance to engage in many high quality conversations. I’ll share that stuff with you.
To summarize, this blog will be about both money and men. This will include the ways I intend to increase my income, the expenses I’m cutting, how I’ll manage my personal and social life, and a bunch of thoughts and decisions in between. You’ll get a behind the scenes look at my foolishness (of the past, present, and possibly future), my wisdom (some of which I actually do have, despite my current financial situation), my fears, my struggles, and my wins – in a way that I’ve never shared before. I can’t say that I’m not a little afraid. I’m am. This is new to me. But, it’s necessary.
Please be patient with me. This is my first blog. I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m just ready to share. Let’s go. 🙂