Single Girl Slays Debt – Page 5 – Paying Off Tsunami-Sized Debt as a Single Woman

It’s My Birthday!

December 11, 2019 by tanya

Another year of life . . . another reason to be grateful.

I’m not, generally, a big birthday person. I don’t proclaim that I’ll be celebrating each day of my birthday month. Although I love, love, love gifts, I’m not the type to be fussy if I don’t get them or don’t get nice ones.

When it comes to milestone birthdays, however, I might do a little sumpthin’. For my golden birthday (my 11th) my mom got me a limousine for my friends to hang out. My 16th birthday was a business venture for me; I had a big birthday party at the convention center of my home town. I got a small loan from my parents, hired the hottest DJ in the city at the time, and charged other teenagers to get in. I paid my parents back in cash the night of the party and pocketed my profits.

My 21st birthday was fairly low-key; my college roommate and I went to Benihana for dinner. My 30th – also uneventful – so uneventful that I cannot recall what was done (that’s a shame). My 40th birthday was a different story. Twenty-one friends and family members celebrated with me in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. For my 40th, I was dating a man who was financially well-off, so I didn’t have to concern myself with the cost. In fact, for two of my prior birthdays, he took me out of the country. Being in another land is always my preference at this time of the year. I’d like my 45th birthday to be another overseas extravaganza, but we’ll have to see how that goes.

Whether my international soiree occurs for my 45th birthday will likely depend on where I am in my debt free journey and where I am romantically. So, like I said, I’m not someone who always makes a big deal out of my birthday, but I might do a little somethin’.

This year, my mom’s taking me to my favorite restaurant for dinner (remember the one that serves the amazing octopus?). Jameson is taking me to a mystery “activity” at the end of the week. I love surprises, so I’m all the way down with dealing with the unexpected. The Bulldozer got us a 2 bedroom/4 bathroom suite with concierge at the Aria for our Vegas trip; he said that the dope suite is part of my birthday present. I’ll take it. My homegirl paid for my ticket to a concert that she, myself and another college friend of ours will be attending in March.

Other than that, I expect to hear from friends and family via text, Facebook, or call throughout the day. Whatever happens, I’ll be happy.

If you’re a fellow Sagittarius, enjoy your birthday this month! Let’s celebrate another year of lives! Xoxoxo

Making Sense of Auto (and Other) Insurance

December 9, 2019 by tanya

It’s that time of year. Decisions need to be made. In my last post, I wrote about health insurance (particularly for a self-employed person). Open enrollment is in full effect, so health insurance policy decisions need to be made quickly – before December 15, 2019.

I have other insurance policies that are up for renewal at the beginning of the year. Since I’m being particularly diligent about my finances, I think it important to re-evaluate each of these policies before they renew for 2020. If you’re doing the same thing that I’m doing, maybe this will be worthwhile information as you consider your options. Maybe not. In any case, I thought I’d share.

In addition to my health insurance, I have 6 other types of insurance:

Auto Insurance Coverage
Homeowners Insurance
Umbrella Insurance
Professional Liability Insurance
Disability Insurance
Life Insurance

My Insurance Philosophy

Given my financial situation, I think this is a lot of policies. Between me, personally, and the business, this presents a significant amount of money being spent on premiums.

Of course, I don’t want to spend any more money than I need to, but I want to make sure that I’m adequately covered in the event that something unexpected happens. As Chris Rock says, I need coverage “in case shit.” In other words, I feel like it would be imprudent of me to not have these coverages. For example, in my state an attorney doesn’t have to have professional liability insurance. But, like with any profession, mistakes happen. Do I really want to get slammed with some hefty payment unexpectedly? Not really. Though I’ve never had a claim (or even a complaint) filed against me, I don’t want to take the risk of not having any protection in the event that something goes wrong.

A foundational concern for me is undue surprise. I’m already dealing with random expenses that come up with respect to my home and business. I also only have a “baby” emergency fund of $1,000 in the bank. This means that I don’t have a bunch of money around to address some kind of big bill that needed to be paid quickly, were to come up. It is important for me to not increase the number of additional expenses that are likely to pop up on me. What I really don’t need are more high dollar unexpected expenses causing major speed bumps in my debt free journey. My insurance policies need to help protect me from liability, but also reduce the stress of me wondering if I would end up severely jammed up . . . in case shit.

Moscow, Russia- June 12, 2017: lexus on the street toned with glare of the sun

Auto, Homeowners and Umbrella Insurance

I have a few insurance policies with Allstate – auto, homeowners and umbrella coverage. Out of all of the policies I listed above, these are the ones that are up for renewal at the beginning of 2020.

Auto Insurance

I pay my insurance on a monthly basis, but my total 6 month premium is $1,216.95. Here are my policy details:

Automobile Liability Insurance
- Deductible: $0
- Bodily Injury: $250,000 each person; $500,000 each occurrence
- Property Damage: $100,000 each occurrence

Uninsured Motorists
- Property Damage: $100,000 each accident
- Deductible: $250
- Auto Collision Insurance
- Limit: Actual cash value
- Deductible: $1,000

Uninsured Motorist (added on to at fault liability limits bodily injury)
- Limit: $250,000 each person; $500,000 each accident
- Deductible: Not applicable

Auto Comprehensive Insurance
- Limit: actual cash value
- Deductible: $1,000

Automobile Medical Payments
- Limit: $2,000 each person
- Deductible: $0
- Rental Reimbursement: up to $40 per day for a 30-day maximum
- Towing and Labor Costs: $100 each disablement
- Deductible: $0

Because I really wanted to understand my coverage, I met with my insurance agent to discuss what I’ve got and why. Auto accidents happen all of the time. With the amount of accidents that happen “just because,” along with the number of drivers that are out here driving distracted, it is important to me to have strong coverage. Plus, working for myself is stressful enough; I don’t need any additional stress when I’m driving around. I’ve got the minimum coverage limits that are allowed in order for someone to have an umbrella coverage policy. More on that below.

I love the comprehensive insurance portion of my policy. It covers me if the car is stolen, vandalized, if I hit a deer, or if I hit something because I swerved to avoid hitting something or someone else. It also covers the windshield. I like that the deductible for this is $100. I also like that when my windshield gets chipped, and the chip is smaller than the size of a quarter, they’ll come and fix it for free, without me paying any deductible. I’ve utilized this service twice in less than 15 months.

I learned that my uninsured motorist insurance is really important because, without it, I’d be relying on the insurance (or lack thereof) of someone else. My liability coverage protects others (or their property) that I might injure or damage. The uninsured motorist portion protects me if I’m hit or damaged by someone else and they don’t have adequate coverage. My agent noted that it doesn’t make sense for me to have less coverage to protect myself than I would have to protect someone else.

Reducing Insurance Costs

I’m going to reduce my insurance expense by taking a defensive driving course online. By taking the course, I’ll get a discount. Another way I’ve been reducing my auto insurance cost is through the use of the Allstate Drivewise app. When I consistently keep my driving speed under 80 mph (not so easy for me) and refrain from hard braking, I end up receiving a little check. The most recent one I received was in the amount of $72.41, so . . . it counts.

Condominium (Homeowners) Insurance

A condominium is usually covered by 2 types of insurance – the master policy of the condominium association and a personal policy held by the condo owner. Generally, the master policy covers the building structure and common areas. The condo owner’s policy covers everything inside of the condo. Some master policies only cover up to and including the walls of an individual condo. Others cover not only up to the walls, but also the floors, countertops and built-in appliances within the condo unit.

My association’s policy is of the former type, but my coverages are still fairly low for my condominium insurance. I also do not have a lot of expensive belongings like high-end furniture, fur coats, diamonds and designer handbags and shoes. So, I just wouldn’t need as much money to replace my belongings as would others.

Here’s a detail of my coverage:

Building Property Protection: $36,000 (for the replacement of fixtures, built-in appliances, flooring, etc.)
Personal Property Protection: $40,000 (for the replacement of my clothing, computers, jewelry, etc.)
Additional Living Expense: $8,000 (coverage in the event of temporary displacement)

(As I write this, I’m wondering if my amounts are a bit too low. I’ve reached out to my agent so that we can discuss this.)

Like my auto insurance, my condo insurance gets paid on a monthly basis. My premium for the year is $301.77.

Personal Liability Umbrella Insurance

An umbrella policy covers a person, as a whole, providing extra liability coverage beyond what is provided through their other policies (e.g., homeowner’s and auto insurance). This is coverage that protects your personal assets to the extent that your assets cannot be protected by the coverage provided through your other policies.

Let’s say, for example, you were to get into a car accident and injure someone. You have automobile liability coverage in the amount of $250,000 (like me). If the damages to that person go beyond the $250,000 available through your coverage (imagine if you were to injure a high-paid professional like a professional athlete or brain surgeon and that person couldn’t work for months), that person would be looking to you to cover any of their additional damages beyond the $250,000. If you had an umbrella policy, the additional coverage could come from there, instead of from your personal bank account or from your future wages (a state might garnish between 20% and 25% of your wages for your working life until the damages are covered).

That’s why I have an umbrella policy. Though I have a negative net worth today, I don’t intend to stay that way for too much longer. My aim is to increase my income in quantum leap fashion over the next few years and . . . in case shit . . . happens, and my main policies don’t provide adequate coverage, I don’t want my future income to be affected. In other words, I have an umbrella policy so that the money I earn in years to come won’t be garnished or my property liened against. As I previously mentioned, the limits I have for my other policies are the minimums required in order to have an umbrella policy.

Fun Fact: A little more than $475,000 of the $850,000 settlement that President Bill Clinton paid to Paula Jones in connection with the sexual misconduct lawsuit against him in the late 90s was covered by President Clinton’s personal umbrella policy.

What kind of insurance do you have? Did you cut out any insurance policies for the purpose of increasing your payments on your debt? Have you discovered any insurance solutions that have worked well for you?

Health Insurance for the Self-Employed

December 6, 2019 by tanya

Over 66% of bankruptcies in the United States are related to medical issues. From a financial perspective, how someone handles their health and medical treatment can significantly impact their money. The decisions that one makes around their health care and health insurance are very important. Since it’s open enrollment time in the U.S., health insurance is a timely topic.

No Compromising On Health Insurance

I’ve worked for myself full-time for 7 years now. Sometimes it has been a tremendous struggle. No matter what kind of challenge I’ve faced from an income perspective, the one thing I haven’t sacrificed is health insurance. It has always been a priority for me. I cannot think of a time I’ve ever seriously considered going without it.

As you may know, I’ve dealt with fibroid tumors for about the last 14 to 15 years of my life. Aside from those and issues related to those, I’m healthy. My blood pressure is great; my cholesterol is great; I’m not diabetic; I don’t have any chronic pain. The only medication I take regularly is Flonase. I say this to say, I wouldn’t consider myself to be one of those people who must, must, must have health insurance due to chronic illness or the need for expensive prescription drugs.

That – one’s general health – is part of the analysis for people who are self-employed and can’t rely on an employer to provide health care (or supplemented health care) for them. For the single and self-employed, especially, not only is there no employer, but there’s no spouse’s employer who can come to the rescue either. As a result, many self-employed folks go without the insurance or get very minimal plans. A couple of months ago, a friend of mine who recently got terminated from his job, stated flat-out that he’ll just “take the tax hit” instead of utilizing COBRA or obtaining a policy on his own.

Self-Employed Plans Suck

Plans for the self-employed aren’t great. Most are high-deductible (if you want to have a lower monthly premium payment). As far as I’m concerned, the premiums are high, too. And there’s not as much flexibility with the coverage as I used to have during the pre-Affordable Care Act (“ACA”) days.

I did have a downright bad policy one year. That was due to me being on the verge of missing the open enrollment deadline and picking some stupid plan in haste. I soon learned that it was some catastrophic health insurance bullshit that didn’t cover a damn thing. I’ve learned to do better and be more diligent about looking into plans.

This year I’m on top of the healthcare process earlier than I’ve ever been in the past. Of course, my premium went up a bit from last year for the same policy. The difference is $51.25 per month.

Before the ACA, I was always on a PPO plan. I like flexibility. I don’t want to have to get approval before seeing any provider that I want to see. In recent years, however, I’ve been on an HMO plan because the PPO plans were more than I was interested in paying.

My Insurance

Below you’ll see what I currently pay.

Premium: $337.03 per month
Deductible: $6,700

Here’s what I’ll be paying in 2020:

Premium: $388.28 per month
Deductible: $6,800

A Health Savings Account (HSA) Plan

I made sure to pick a plan that is HSA eligible. An HSA allows an employee to make savings contributions for their health care on a pre-tax basis (or tax-deductible basis if not done through an employer). The HSA contributions, effectively, reduce one’s tax burden by decreasing the amount on which a person will be taxed.

Another advantage of an HSA is that the funds held in the account can be invested and the earnings will be tax free. Considering where I am in my debt free journey (Baby Step 2 in the Dave Ramsey plan, which is the payoff of all debt besides my mortgage), I’m not concerned much about the investment benefit. My primary concern is the reduction in my tax liability using money that I’m going to spend anyway. As an additional benefit, my accountant told me that I’ll be able to receive reimbursement from my business for the $7,000+ I spent on my uterine fibroid embolization last year.

Before a couple of years ago, I didn’t realize that you couldn’t just tack on an HSA to whatever your existing plan was. You have to have a plan that is eligible for the HSA. That’s going to be a plan that qualifies as a high deductible health insurance plan, according to the guidelines for that established by the IRS.

Since I have a high-deductible plan, and one that is specifically designated as high-deductible, I’m eligible for the HSA. My aim is, obviously, to use the HSA to reduce my tax burden.

On another good note, fortunately, my dental insurance didn’t go up. That’s still $47.38 per month.

Choosing health insurance is so not my favorite thing. How are you handling it? Do you have an HSA? What was your decision-making process in selecting the appropriate plan?

Tight Month Ahead – December Budget Breakdown

December 4, 2019 by tanya

Geeeeezzzz. I’m concerned about the budget this month. Because I’m self-employed, and my business doesn’t have any significant reserves, my personal budget is integrally related to the performance of the business. My projections for the business this month don’t look so good. In fact, I’m wondering how the business will possibly bring in what I need it to produce this month in order for not only the business’ budget to work, but my personal budget as well.

With this being December – the last month of the year and the month of 2 major U.S. holidays – I don’t see there being a high volume of certain types of client work. Everything kinda slows down this month. People focus on holiday parties, travel, and preparing for next year. It seems that, when it comes to certain legal services, the prevailing thought is, “If I haven’t gotten it done by now, I’ll just focus on it next year.”

Anticipating that this month will be tight, I’m planning to pay myself less than I’d like. This month, I’ll have $7,000 with which to work.

My hope is that the income will come in this month – even if it’s by the hair of my chinny chin chin.
~ Single Girl

I use Dave Ramsey’s EveryDollar software to do my monthly budgeting. I use the free version instead of EveryDollar Plus because I wanted to force myself to really connect with my numbers, instead of being able to simply drag and drop imported expenses from my bank account. I wanted to force myself to manually capture every single amount spent each month.

According to the summary of spending that appears in EveryDollar, here’s how the percentages of planned spending breaks down for the month:

You’ll see that giving (tithe), savings, housing, insurance, and debt comprise a total of $6,256.97 – 89% of the budget. A significant chunk of that is going to savings for that beast of an HOA special assessment I have coming due in February (½ of $8,200) and early March (½ of $8,200). Gas for the car, food, some minimal Christmas gifts and food for my Vegas trip (click here and see the section “Plans With the Bulldozer”) make up the remaining 11%. This all assumes that the business is even able to pay me an amount that will equal the $7,000.

What I pay myself consists of both payroll and shareholder distributions. In determining what I’ll pay myself, I balance the two. (See The Tsunami Situation – Tax Edition, which explains why business owners often split their income between W-2 employee income payroll and distributions as an owner).

Another challenge is that, with this being December, I really want to focus on getting ready for the New Year. I want to truly “hit the ground running,” which will require some dedicated planning and organizational time. I don’t want to start 2020 lacking in clarity or not having positioned myself to succeed. I really don’t want to write a post like this in December of next year. So, though I want to hustle, hustle, hustle, I also don’t want to hustle in a way that makes me feel unready at the beginning of the year. New beginnings are a big deal to me.

I’ve already started doing some business development by following up on previous leads (e.g., people with whom we spoke regarding potential representation). I’m also doing what I normally do to drum up business. My hope is that the income will come in this month – even if it’s by the hair of my chinny chin chin. How terrible . . . the fact that I’m even saying that I “hope” the income will come in this month. I should be in a position to be confident that a certain level of income will be produced every month. But, I deal in what is, not what should be. Unfortunately, I’m not yet in that position.

The Tsunami Situation – November 2019 Debt Report

December 1, 2019 by tanya

Each month, I record the balances on my debt obligations. The amounts shown in my debt report reflect balances as of the end of the previous month.

“How long should you try? Until.”
~ Jim Rohn

The Debt Report Table I have been using in previous months was starting to look a bit cluttered, so I’m changing the format of it. In it, I’m also changing the order of the debts so that the order of it aligns with my planned order of payoff.

Moving forward, the Debt Report Table will show only the active debts being repaid. The Table of Debts Slayed will reflect those items that have already been repaid. You’ll find the Table of Debts Slayed below.

A few notes on the Table of Debts Slayed:

(1) The Debt Journey Balance column reflects the balance on the debt as of the date that I started to get serious about my debt-free journey – July, 2019.

(2) I’ve included in the Table of Debts Slayed, the balances I paid off for my 2018 Federal ($3,238) and State ($2,819) taxes, even though I paid them off the month after I learned about the obligation and the debts became due. I’m including them the list because they were significant amounts and were, technically, debts; I just paid them off quickly. I previously had not listed them in my but am do so now.

(3) In November, I applied for and obtained a debt consolidation loan, which allowed for the payoff of all of my credit card debt. The credit cards listed, except for the Chase card, were paid off through the debt consolidation. Effectively, the debt was re-classified and not actually paid off.

See the Debt Report Table below for the figures as of the end of November, 2019. It shows the updated order of debts to be repaid.

Based on the figures above, the difference between my October and November debt total is $1,667.25.

A few notes about the Debt Report Table:

(1) Any amount that ends in a “0” or “50” is an estimate. Often times, the IRS website does not show updated figures. It will say that “information is not available,” so I make a guess, based on the typical monthly reduction amount.

(2) The Navient payments for both the Debt Journey Balance and the November balance are the same because I’m on an income-based repayment plan and my payments aren’t enough to reduce the balance.

(3) The first payment on the Lending Club loan isn’t due until December. I made additional payments on the loan due to debt snowball amounts that were allocated for credit card payments for November. I also made sure to make a payment sufficient to cover the origination fee (the fee was $260).

I’m excited about the debt consolidation loan because I know that, as long as nothing unexpected happens to derail me, I will get it all paid off within 3 years or less. Of course, I want to pay it off much earlier than that, but I love knowing that there’s a definitive end date.

4 Things For Which ALL Single Girls Should Be Grateful

November 29, 2019 by tanya

There’s so much for which I’m grateful. I woke up today with all of my senses and all of my appendages intact. Some people didn’t. I’m pain-free and healthy (despite the demon fibroids in my uterus); not everyone can say the same. I have amazing relationships with my immediate family. Some people don’t. I laid awake in a comfortable bed, in a home that is well-appointed, that has heat, electricity, and water. Some people didn’t have that same experience this morning. I have reliable transportation in which I feel safe and that no one is threatening to repossess. Some people are stressed every day over how they will get from place to place. I am able to make a living that is well above the poverty line. Though the poverty line is a very low bar, some folks can’t seem to get beyond it. While I’m not at all near where I’d like and plan to be in my life, there’s a lot in my life that is good and that I cannot take for granted.

Another aspect of my life that I appreciate is that I am a single woman. While there are both benefits and drawbacks to this status, for as long as I am single, I intend to focus on all that is great about being in this position. A single woman has unique opportunities that her married counterparts simply don’t have – opportunities for which all single girls should be very grateful. Check out the list below.

(1) Freedom

A single woman has the freedom to go, be and do as she wishes. She can, literally, be wherever she physically wants to be. Don’t like your current city? Relocate. Don’t like your current job? Get a different one. One might say, “Well, it’s not that easy.” I didn’t say it was easy; what I’m saying is that it can be done.

Those without children have an immense amount of liberty. Don’t delude yourself into thinking that you must stay somewhere or do something that you don’t want to do. Regardless of the critical role that you play at your job or in your civic organizations – you have freedom. If someone could take Steve Jobs’ role at Apple, you, too, can be replaced.

I have a friend who, for years, wouldn’t leave her hometown because of the role (a volunteer role!) that she played at her church. She felt that the church organization wouldn’t be able to function in her absence. I’m a straight-shooter so I told her the truth. “You’re not that important. Trust me. If you want to move to another city, do it. They’ll be fine without you.” To her surprise, the church continued to operate and thrive in her absence, while she enjoyed the benefit of actually pursuing her own goals. For years, she Jedi mind tricked her own damn self into thinking that she didn’t have the flexibility to do what was best for her.

When it comes to dating, single girls have the chance to explore. The opportunities are endless. You can date various people (whatever kinds of people you’re into). You can have the sexual experiences you want to have and no one say nary a word regarding what you do. (Caveat: if you’re all up in these streets acting thoterrific, risking your physical and mental health, don’t be surprised if someone who loves you has something to say about it.) You can gain tremendous knowledge from the various experiences you have – learning more about what you want and don’t want out of mate.

(2) Choice

A single woman can make choices for herself without having to consider the desires of another adult person. Really. You can choose how you want to handle every single area of your life – your physical location, how you make money, how you’ll spend money, where you’ll vacation . . . everything! As long as it doesn’t hurt someone else (and, as long as you focus on yourself, few decisions should fall into this category), a single lady has unmitigated latitude to do as she wishes.

Everybody’s talkin’ all this stuff about me
Why don’t they just let me live
I don’t need permission to
Make my own decisions
That’s my prerogative
~ Bobby Brown, “My Prerogative,” Don’t Be Cruel

Even single girls with children have, at least, some level of flexibility. You’re the adult in your family situation, so you run the show. You only have to consider the desires of another adult person to the extent that it impacts your children and their relationship with their father (or their bonus mom, if you co-parent with another woman). But, there’s a lot in your life over which you still have control.

(3) Time

A single woman’s primary obligation is to herself and, if she is a mother, her children. Without having to be obligated to take care of a mate, a single girl can focus on herself. She can take the time she needs to figure out the direction in which she wants to go with her life. She can spend the time she needs to develop her interests and pursuing her goals.

Your time is your own. You don’t have to abide by or be cognizant of anyone else’s calendar other than your own. If you don’t have kids, there’s no running around the city from soccer to dance to piano lessons. If you want to spend a whole day at the movies, you can. If you want to spend an entire weekend at a silent retreat center, you can. There’s also no having to check in with someone else to let them know that you will be home late. I love, love, love that I can take some time to myself without that hurting someone else’s feelings or them feeling like my desire to be alone has something to do with them.

I think we (myself included) get so used to our habits and the things we usually do, that we forget that there’s a lot we don’t have to do. When we choose to over commit ourselves to the projects and objectives of others, that our own fault.

(4) Hope

Assuming that you want to have a mate, be grateful that you still have the chance to find a great one. Being single, you could literally, meet the love of your life tomorrow. Regardless of the relationship and dating experiences you’ve had in the past, your future is still full of opportunity. That’s not quite the case for your girlfriend who was so eager to be married that she married a clown who doesn’t treat her well. Or, the one who posts the #relationshipgoals photos on Facebook, all the while pretending that her husband isn’t having an affair. Of course, some people have amazing marriages. But, a lot of people don’t. Delight in the fact that you’re not one of those women in a bad one. An unmarried woman is still in the position to the perfect fit.

If you were lamenting your single status this holiday, don’t. Count your blessings and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

The Manscape – November 2019

November 27, 2019 by tanya

Ahhhh, these dudes.

Work Weekend With Jameson

The month started off with the weekend cabin trip that I mentioned in my Low Budget Ballin’ post. Jameson is a long-time friend. He invited me to do a “work weekend” at a beautiful lake cabin about an hour and a half north of the city. He’s got a big project on which he’s been working. I always have plenty that I need to do. So, he combined my love of a getaway with my desire to get things done.

Before agreeing to accompany him, I asked him if he was sure, sure, sure that he didn’t want to go with someone who he knew would be interested in having a romantic experience with him. He assured me that I was his choice.

We’ve known each other since we were children. He’s had a crush on the girl since then. He says that my little just-starting-to-develop boobs were the first ones he ever saw. We were playing a game of Chutes and Ladders and, when I leaned across the board to move my piece, he got a quick peek down my shirt. He and other members of his family were around my family beginning decades ago. As we became young adults (i.e., when we were engaged in our respective college careers), he became more clear and direct about his desire to have a romantic relationship. I finally decided to give us a chance when I was in law school.

Out of the approximately 34 years that we’ve known each other, we officially dated for about 1. He says he hasn’t had a girlfriend since me. (Shrug). Though we speak regularly, we had the opportunity, while at the cabin, to have some really in-depth, honest conversations. I think we both find the conversations to be very enlightening.

Why is his name “Jameson”? This man drinks excessively. He likes whiskey, so Jameson is an appropriate name. It’s to the point where, while under the influence, he’s done some things about which he’s incredibly ashamed. His drunken activities have severely impacted, if not totally destroyed, any possibility of me ever being willing to get back together with him. Though he has some qualities that I really admire, appreciate and love about him, there are a few other qualities that make a reconciliation highly unlikely.

Nonetheless, Jameson and I are still friends. Though he has stated at the cabin that he wants to get back together, he recognizes that I’m not interested in that. He’s made it clear that, whether with him or not, he wants me to be happy and wants to make sure that we maintain a friendship.

There’s a lot of water under the bridge known as our friendship. I’ll share more about it in future posts.

Jameson did a great job in choosing a nice cabin for us. When we were at the farmer’s market buying food for the cabin, he bought me some flowers and a vase and even arranged them while I made dinner later that night. He brought candles for the hot tub and even air freshener to elevate the living environment. He, clearly, made an effort to ensure that we had a nice stay. I appreciate that.

When it comes to the money, he covered everything except the “small contribution” I offered to make toward the food. I budgeted $30 for this contribution, but ended up going about $14 over budget. I took the extra funds from a different budget category to cover the shortfall.

Mr. Nice For Now

The weekend after the cabin stay was Mr. Nice For Now’s birthday. Due to some work obligations, he was shackled to his home office, so I went over to his house. He cooked a great meal for us. I surprised him with a card and a cake.

The following weekend, when he could go out, I took him to dinner. This was the first time, since we started seeing each other 9 months ago, that I’ve ever paid for a dinner date. Remember my position: if I’ve got to pay for dates, I’ll stop dating. My debt-free journey can’t support that. Debt-free journey or no, my personality and dating style don’t support that, either.

Of course, I gave Mr. Nice For Now the choice of the location for his birthday dinner date. He’s a steak man so I totally expected him to say that he wanted to go to Morton’s, Ruth’s Chris or the Capital Grill. To my utter delight, he told me that he wanted to have Ethiopian food because he hadn’t had it in about 20 years. What?! Ethiopian?! Yay! First of all, I love Ethiopian food and second of all, it’s a whole lot cheaper than any steakhouse. It was still a $100 dinner, but it was less than the alternative. Overall, I went $24.52 over budget for what I allocated for his birthday.

To my utter delight, he told me that he wanted to have Ethiopian food because he hadn’t had it in about 20 years. What?! Ethiopian?! Yay!

Mr. Nice for Now left for Asia a few days ago. He’ll be there from now until the end of the year (about 5 weeks). The night after we went out for his birthday, he took me to my favorite restaurant. Next month is my birthday, so he wanted to take me out before he left, since he won’t be in town when my birthday rolls around. A couple of days before he left, he got us a couples massage. It was his first time ever having one, despite the fact that he had been married. I was glad to be able to experience that with him.

He’s been sweet since he left, sending me update messages through What’s App. His time away will be a good opportunity for me to think through where I want this go and whether or not I want to continue the situationship. Really, it’s more about whether or not I want to continue it (I get really contemplative around the end of the year as I consider what I want to carry with me into the New Year and what I don’t). I’ve learned, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we’re not a match for anything long-term. We don’t have the level of chemistry that I would need from a man with whom I intend to spend the rest of my life. He has some amazing qualities, but our visions for our lives are not aligned. He’s okay with working at his job until he retires, not caring to progress and hoping to not rock the boat. That’s not consistent with how I want my life to be.

Hanging with Harvard

Once a month, I get together with my boy, Harvard. That’s his alma mater, so that’s how he got that name. For our monthly get together, we usually have dinner and drinks at the same restaurant in Midtown.

Interestingly, we don’t talk much in between our meetings. We just know that each month we can look forward to getting together to catch up. It usually starts with a run down of his love life. When we first met about 9 years ago (at an event for Ivy League alums), he was in a strained marriage. Shortly after that, he got divorced. Since then, he’s pursued a lifestyle of non-monogamy (yeah, I didn’t know that was a thing, either) and is living his best life. It has been interesting to see him doing him and being who and how he wants to be.

He also has an affinity for strippers and instathots. It’s funny because, as I’ve told him before, one would never guess by looking at his buttoned-up-looking self that he’s about that life.

He also has an affinity for strippers and instathots.

This month, we celebrated his birthday. So, though he always pays for our outings, this time I paid for it. Unfortunately, when I was doing the November budget, I forgot that his birthday meal would need to be handled this month. I messed up.

The Whole Foods Joker Gets Blasted

Whole Foods Joker is a guy that I met at . . . the Whole Foods Market. Apparently, he was on his way out of the store, walking across the parking lot, as I was walking in. It had just stopped raining so it was wet outside. As I walked in, not knowing that someone was watching me, I wiped the bottom of my shoes by doing a little twist dance kind of thing. Apparently, he thought that was cute – cute enough to come back into the store to talk to me and get my number.

In the weeks that followed, he called me and texted me a couple of times. He was very polite and gentlemanly in his communication. He told me that he wanted to take me out for lunch or dinner – whatever I wanted – and he would make whatever time he needed to make in order for us to get together.

Cool. We set up a date for a week later – Saturday at 2 p.m. I ask him where he wants to meet. He says, “We’ll communicate before then.” I respond that that’s okay with me.

So the whole week passes and I don’t hear anything from him. Saturday comes and goes and I still don’t hear anything from him. Now, one might ask why I didn’t just reach out to him to confirm the date and to ask again where we would meet. I don’t do that. That’s not my dating style. As a general rule, I don’t pursue men. As a very specific rule, I don’t take any significant steps to go out with or talk to a man with whom I’ve never been on a date. I definitely, definitely don’t confirm first dates.

Sunday passed with still no word from him. Then Monday rolls around and he calls. I was on another call at the time, so I sent a quick text stating that I’d call him back. In the meantime, he sends a text saying, “Hey pretty lady. We missed each other this past weekend. Hope all is well.”

What?! “Missed each other”?! No, mutherfucker, we didn’t miss each other. You said we would communicate so, at that point, you dictated what was going to happen and you didn’t make it happen. You didn’t communicate. We did not “miss” each other.

I’ve said this before. I really admire and respect men who do what they say they’re going to do. It doesn’t have to be to the point of perfection (because that’s not even possible), but you can’t totally blow it on a first date attempt – especially after you were basically begging to go out on said date. What I don’t respect is a man who doesn’t take ownership and, worse, tries to act as if I had something to do with the mishap.

What I don’t respect is a man who doesn’t take ownership and, worse, tries to act as if I had something to do with the mishap.

I had to set this joker straight. I didn’t hold back. It’s definitely not my place to reprimand a grown man, but I certainly can tell a man what is not acceptable to me, especially when he’s reaching out to me asking to spend time with me. If he had simply said that something crazy/unexpected had come up, I would have responded differently. It still wouldn’t have been acceptable to me, but I would have respected his approach more.

Of course, he was initially defensive and acted like what I was saying to him was out of line. He said I was lacking in compassion and was making a big deal out of something small. Let’s be clear: doing a no call, no show on this girl is a big deal. He initially stated that “something must have happened” to make him not, at least, reach out to me on Saturday. But, “I can’t think of what it was right now.”

Clown.

I continued to go in. When I flipped the scenario for him (i.e., if the tables were turned and I said blankety blank . . . ), laid out the facts about what he had said and how he acted, it finally clicked for him. He became profusely apologetic and finally admitted that he really “blew it.”

He asked for forgiveness and another chance – particularly a another chance at a first date. He said, “At this point, I’m begging. Let me make it up.” I reluctantly agreed.

Today, he’s offered to facilitate a spa visit in an attempt to make up for his foolishness. He asked me where I prefer to go, what services I prefer to get, and what day would be best for me. He said he’ll “take care of it.” We’ll see.

Plans With The Bulldozer

The Bulldozer is my friend who is flying me out to Las Vegas to hang out in December. He’s The Bulldozer because he doesn’t fuck around. He’s very God-fearing, has immense emotional intelligence, but commands respect and will not hesitate to tell anyone what they need to be told. The first time I saw him was at a conference. He was speaking on the stage and I thought, Jesus Christ, this guy is no joke. Later, he came up to a vendor booth that I was browsing. The vendor was selling books and I was perusing one of them. The Bulldozer then said, “I’ll buy you that book if you promise to email me after you’ve read it and tell me what you think of it.” I read the book and sent him my review of it. That was the beginning of our now 17-year, completely platonic, friendship.

The Bulldozer sent me the money for my airline ticket this month. While I normally want to fly at least business or comfort class (I know, I know – me and my preferences), he didn’t send enough for an elevated class seat. But, he sent significantly more than the amount of a regular coach class ticket. The old me would have added a little bit of money to what he sent and booked the higher class seat. The new me, however, bought the coach ticket and am praying for an automatic upgrade. Last year, I – by the skin of my teeth – earned status with an airline carrier. With that status, I get automatic upgrades if a seat is available in a higher class. Hence, I’m hoping for an upgrade. The extra $145.40 from the money he sent will be put towards food for the trip.

My friend is in the process of choosing the accommodations. Right now, it’s between the Bellagio or the Aria. We’ll either get 2 rooms side-by-side or a 2-bedroom suite. I’m excited to hang out with The Bulldozer. I truly value him as a friend.

A Note About Names

These names aren’t solely for the purpose of protecting the identities of people mentioned in this blog. I really use names like this for guys when talking to my girlfriends about men. The name is critical because it provides some quick memory-jogging context. Who’s the story about, again? Oh, yeah, that joker you met at Whole Foods. Hence, the name Mr. Whole Foods Joker. My girlfriends and I delight ourselves in some of the names that we’ve come up with for the guys in our respective circles. Here are some of the names for my dudes and my girlfriend’s dudes.

Pencil (which represented his allegedly short pencil-sized penis)
Repeat Performance (because the loving was so good to her the first time, she wanted it again)
Jerk Of The Year (you get it)
Motorcycle Boy
Young Tech (younger and in the technology field)
Ass Out (I walked outside of my condo one day and saw his naked ass with no pants on. Interesting story. Maybe I’ll write about it one day.)
Grandpa (he was hella old)
Admirer
Barber Boy

I know, it’s so silly. But, it’s fun.

Handle Your Business . . . License

November 24, 2019 by tanya

When you start cleaning up, you’re bound to unleash some dirt.

As part of the process of me taking control of my finances, I’m also getting more organized in all of my affairs. This includes an assessment of my physical space, my physical fitness and health, and, quite importantly, my business.

My law firm serves as my main source of income. I’ve earned income through my real estate sales side hustle (If you missed that, click here), but the revenue from my practice is – by far – what I rely upon to live. I need it to continue to produce income; in fact, I need it to produce an increased amount of income. Moving into 2020, my foremost concern for my company is to generate significantly higher revenue on a consistent and reliable basis. Doing that requires that I really streamline our processes, learn more about and implement effective marketing strategies, and make sure that the affairs of the business, generally, are in good order.

I stay on top of my annual registration of the firm (it’s a limited liability company) with the Secretary of State, and I file the business taxes on the state and Federal levels. I also make sure to complete all requirements necessary to keep my professional licenses (i.e. my license to practice law in 2 states) in good standing, including the completion of annual continuing education courses and the payment of my annual license fees.

Though I’ve been on top of some things, I fell short in one particular area.

Like I said, when you start cleaning up, you’re bound to unleash some dirt. In my business, my big mess was my business license.

The Bad News For Me

This week I made a payment to the city for $4,047.08. I was told last month that I’d need to pay it and was given only 30 days to do it. If I didn’t pay it within the 30-day period, I’d have to pay additional funds in penalties. Four thousand dollars may not be a lot of money to some, but is a lot of money to me. Not paying attention and not being diligent in getting this handled earlier cost me heavily.

In my city, every business that operates within the city limits is required to have a business license. There may be some additional requirements (e.g., permits or professional licenses), but, at a minimum, the business should have a general business license.

I’ve known that businesses with storefronts needed business licenses (as they are usually prominently posted in the entry or near the cash wrap of retail operations). But, I didn’t come to that same conclusion for home-based based businesses and professional services businesses that didn’t require an office or storefront location that was not open to the public.

Several years ago, I was prompted to look into a business license because I was considering getting into government contracting (i.e., bidding to provide legal services to government entities). In order to be listed as a potential government contractor with the procurement departments of government agencies, a business must satisfy several requirements and provide certain documentation. Of course, evidence that the business exists (i.e., through formation with the Secretary of State) is an important one. Beyond that, there are a number of requirements, including the provision of a business license.

I began the process of obtaining the business license, but got held up at one part. When I reached out to one of the government agencies to get answers to my questions, I didn’t get much help. Because I wasn’t particularly pressed to pursue the government contracting route at that time, I let that little road block derail me. As time passed, I kept telling myself that I needed to resume that process, but I kept putting it off. Years went by and I continued to procrastinate.

It wasn’t until recently, when a client needed me to handle the business licenses for all of his businesses, that I got serious about the process again. Though it was still a bit cumbersome (in some other cities, it isn’t as complicated), the steps were clearer than I remembered them being years ago when I first attempted to get the business license.

The news for me was bad. Because I didn’t get the business license right after I originally started doing business in my city, I would have to not only pay the license fees owed based on the business’ revenues, but I’d also have to pay penalties. The penalty for failing to file each year is $500. I got lucky that the statute of limitations prevents the city from going back more than 3 years. But, even with the benefit of the 3-year limitation, my bill still ended up being over $4,000.

I got lucky that the statute of limitations prevents the city from going back more than 3 years. But, even with the benefit of the 3-year limitation, my bill still ended up being over $4,000.
~ Single Girl

How Can This Be?

How can a business owner not realize that they need to have a business license? I think that main reason is a lack of association of the physical, visible hanging license with businesses that are operated on computers and in Starbucks cafes. We’re all familiar with the slew of licenses and permits we see framed and hanging in the restaurants, stores, and entertainment facilities that we patronize. If the business doesn’t have a storefront or office, one wouldn’t readily know whether or not the business has or does not have a license. As lame as this sounds, maybe it was an “out of sight, out of mind” kind of thing. And, add the fact that, unlike businesses that have patrons coming in and out of them, a business that doesn’t have foot traffic isn’t faced with the threat that someone will call the city questioning the absence of a posted license or permit. When you don’t have a physical location for your business, the connection between those hanging, visible certificates and the legal status of the business is more tenuous. I guess. I’m not saying that’s a legitimate excuse.

With my firm, I’ve always worked either out of a home office or out of a shared office space. The office company providing the office space had a business license (again, framed and visible on the wall), but all of the businesses housed within the shared office space (including mine) did not similarly display the license. Once I experienced the hiccup in the license process years ago, I guess I just didn’t see it as a high priority.

It’s a wonder that no other client has ever needed us to handle this for them. We’ve formed countless limited liability companies and corporations, but have not, up until recently, really considered the business license process as part of our offerings. What I’ve found lately is that many people who do not run storefronts or businesses that are open to the public don’t realize that they need to have the business license.

The Bad News For You

The bad news for you is this: you probably need a business license, too. And, if you’re like many of the folks running home-based businesses and side-hustles, you probably don’t have one. You might very well be as non-compliant as I was.

For any business entity, there are a handful of critical elements:

Entity formation on the State level
The obtaining of a Federal Employer Identification Number (this should be done after the State has approved of the entity registration)
Business license on the local level (may be for the city and/or for the county)
Business permit (required for some businesses, but not all)
Professional license (required for some businesses, but not all)

To be clear: it’s not enough to register the business with the state (e.g., Jane Doe Productions, LLC). It’s also not enough to get an EIN for the business. To be fully compliant under the law, a business owner needs to take additional steps. For certain businesses, there can be a number of additional steps.

Though I don’t like it, it does make some sense. The business license requirement is, effectively, a tax – a tax based on the revenues generated by the business. The Feds get their share of income taxes. Almost all of the states (except certain states like Nevada, Washington, and Wyoming) get their share of income taxes. Additionally the states get income from annual corporate entity registrations.

Does Your City Require A Business License? Probably.

I’ve done some quick, high-level research on some major cities around the country. I found that, like my city, these cities require that any business operating within their city limits have a business license – even those that are operated out of a home. Even those that don’t have employees. Even those that don’t make any money. If you have a business, you’re probably included in this mix.

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS:

A business license is required to “conduct, engage in, maintain, operate, or manage” a business in the city. Some types of businesses are exempt from the city licensure requirement because they are regulated by the Illinois Department of Financial & Professional Regulation (IDFPR). These exempt activities appear to be those primarily engaged in by people who are separately licensed (e.g., marriage and family therapists, dentists, real estate brokers, architects, chiropractors, etc.).

If your business does not fall within the exempt category, you need a business license. Even those who are self-employed or operate home-based businesses in their residence, need to obtain a Regulated Business License – Home Occupation.

WASHINGTON, D.C.

All businesses in Washington, D.C. must be properly licensed. The license will be issued by either the DCRA’s Business Licensing Division (most businesses) or by another D.C, licensing agency. This link might be helpful.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA

To do business inside the city of Los Angeles, one needs to apply for a business tax registration certificate. This link might be helpful.

CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA

In Charlotte/Mecklenburg County, all businesses need a business license (aka a “Privilege License”) – even those that are home-based. This link might be helpful.

Though the cities require that the business get the license or certificate, not all of these cities require that a business owner actually pay the tax. Since the tax is typically based on gross revenues, for business that make below a certain amount, a payment exemption may apply.

It Hurts, But It Needed to Be Done

Paying this damn $4,000 bill with only 30 days’ notice really put a dent in my business bank account. I’m so not fired up. Where I went wrong was in not filing for the license earlier – as soon as I started doing business in the City. If I had done it that way, I would have been paying this tax for a longer period of time, but I wouldn’t have had the shock of the lump-sum $4,000 payment.

Frankly, if I hadn’t affirmatively reached out to the city to go through the licensing process, there’s a chance that the city may not have ever said anything to me and I may not have ever had to pay the bill (or the annual bills that I will continue to pay, moving forward). But when you want to have your affairs in order . . . you need to get your affairs in order. Not having the license was the missing piece to being able to say that my business is fully legal and is operating in full compliance with the law. I’m glad that I can say that now.

One more business mistake down . . . more to go.