Food

Fibroids, Food and Frustration – Part 2

November 9, 2019 by tanya

Audio version of this post, read by the author.

This is a continuation of Fibroids, Food and Frustration.

The thing about fibroids is that no definitive cause of them has been determined. The Mayo Clinic states plainly, “Doctors don’t know the cause of uterine fibroids,” but certain factors appear to contribute to them. Among those factors are genetics and hormones – particularly estrogen and progesterone.

I definitely had the genetics piece covered. As I mentioned before, my mother had fibroids. My grandmother also had them. My grandmother’s fibroids were so severe that she ended up having a hysterectomy.

In the face of having a hysterectomy myself, I wanted to learn more about these alien tumors. Clearly, something was wrong in my body, which was leading to the aggressiveness of the tumors. My uterus wasn’t normal. I figured there had to be something in my biological ecosystem that was causing the fibroids to come back over and over again.

As I did more research, I discovered the work of doctors who deemed the key cause of fibroids to be the relative levels of estrogen compared to progesterone. They determined that when the presence of estrogen was too pronounced, that led to the growth of fibroids. Estrogen dominance, therefore, was the real issue.

Or, was it? Maybe there were other possibilities contributing to some kind of breakdown in my overall health. I continued to research. Did I have gut flora issues? Did I have a candida overgrowth or something? Did I have a latent allergy that had me living with acute inflammation? Was stress wreaking havoc on my body? I had to see what I could discover.

I committed to getting myself checked from top to bottom to see if there was some underlying or pervasive issue that I just didn’t see – something that was causing the fibroids to grow back.

I found a naturopathic doctor, told him about my history, and said that I really needed him to check everything. I wanted the kinds of tests that traditional doctors won’t usually order on a patient’s behalf because (1) they don’t believe that your medical theories are supported by science and (2) the tests aren’t covered by insurance policies. I took a special stool test to check my gut flora. I took hormone tests. I took blood tests. I also took a food sensitivity test. (These non-traditional tests were very expensive, by the way; the food sensitivity test, by itself, was several hundred dollars.)

I learned that my hormone levels weren’t right; my gut wasn’t right, either. These issues could be remedied with strong probiotics and some progesterone supplements.

Why I Eat the Way I Do

The worst part was the results of my food sensitivity test. I was reactive to almost everything I liked to eat – everything! There were literally 42 items on my list of reactive foods. The results of the test showed me to be mildly reactive to, among other foods, almonds, cashews, pinto beans, cherries, white potatoes, peanuts, black pepper, chocolate, yeast, turkey, vanilla, watermelon, trout, pineapple and peppermint. It showed me being highly reactive to chicken, egg, wheat, cow’s milk, garlic and ginger.

Jesus Christ.

It was ridiculous! I had already stopped eating red meat a couple of years prior, but . . . chicken? . . . . chicken?! Nooooooooooooooooo! And cheese?! Oh, and wheat?! What-in-all-the-fuck?!

The doctor assured me that if I avoided these foods for about 3 months, my body would likely reset and I would then be able to resume eating these foods. Since I had told myself that I wouldn’t get a hysterectomy until I had done all that I could do to try to correct my body, I was willing to eliminate the unfriendly foods and see what the results would be. Though I had previously engaged in some extreme food experiments in the past, this was going to be more than I was thinking I could handle. This wouldn’t be my first time not consuming something I liked, but it would surely be next level deprivation for me.

Deprivation Start Date – October 1, 2016

Before embarking on a major food deprivation project, I always mentally prepare. I pick a date and wrap my mind around the fact that, beginning that day, I’ll be giving up some things that I really like and want. The date I chose for my 3-month no cheese, no wheat, no chicken, no nothing I like diet was October 1, 2016. That would give me about 3 weeks to mentally prepare and eat a slew of cheese, chicken, bread and butter.

When the 3 months were over, and I went for my doctor’s visit, I was looking forward to hearing the doctor tell me that I could get off of my program. Instead, he told me that it would be best that I continue for an additional 3 months, as 3 months really wasn’t an adequate amount of time. Though disappointed, I made the decision to continue on with my special diet. Six months passed, then a year . . . then another year. Overall, I lost weight and felt better, but the fibroids didn’t go away.

About 2 years into the special diet, I woke up one morning to find a huge lump in my lower abdomen – in the exact same place that the two other super large fibroids had been. Over that 2-year period, there were times that I could feel the fibroids – particularly on the lower left side of my abdomen, but I could bear them. I suffered through several rough periods, but they hadn’t bothered me to the point of me feeling that I needed to pull the trigger on an extreme solution.

As I layed in bed and looked toward my stomach, I saw what, to me, was the fibroid version of Mt. Everest. I couldn’t believe it. I had been working so hard to eat properly and was diligently going to the doctor to get my hormones checked and adjusted. But that morning confirmed for me that my solution wasn’t in the food. Frankly, I was fed up and pissed the fuck off. At that point, I concluded that I had tried. I had truly given a solid effort to see if there was more that I could do – naturally – to try to reduce the presence of and effects of the fibroids.

That next month, I had another procedure to help reduce the size of the fibroids. I didn’t want to do another major surgery, so I opted against a hysterectomy. Instead, I had a uterine fibroid embolization. It was much less invasive. After one of these procedures, though a woman can still get pregnant, it isn’t recommended.

Last month made 3 years on this special diet. I was supposed to have taken the food sensitivity test again after the 6 month mark. I couldn’t bring myself to spend the money again. Yet, I wasn’t quite ready to eat a slice of pizza. Or regular, non-gluten-free bread. I figured that I had come so far and done so well over these years. My weight was where I wanted it and, aside from the fibroids, I felt pretty good. So, why stop?

The Frustrating Part

A restricted diet and restricted budget don’t go well together.

While on this debt free journey, my relationship with food has become one with very little love and a whole lot of hate. Once I got serious about finances, my diet of salmon, scallops, crab and shrimp was much too expensive. It wouldn’t work. I wasn’t willing to continue to spend the money that I had been spending. The dining out was cut and the grocery budget (even though there really wasn’t a “budget” because I bought whatever I wanted from the grocery store) was slashed. Super slashed.

A restricted diet and restricted budget don’t go well together.
~ Single Girl

It’s been a challenge for me over the last few months. Seriously. And I’m still trying to figure out how to make my diet work while on this journey. There’s the financial side and the health side to consider. I’ve been incorporating other foods that I hadn’t been eating previously. The only non-red meat protein option that isn’t chicken (highly reactive food for me) or seafood (too expensive) that I’ve been consuming is turkey (mildly reactive for me). But, I’m not so sure that I should be eating as much of that as I do, either. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are a staple in a common debt-free diet, but gluten- free bread is much more expensive than regular bread. Ramen noodles (which I actually like) could be a cheap snack or meal, but . . . they are made with wheat. So, that’s not an option for me.

What’s even more frustrating is that the benefits that I got from having such a restricted diet aren’t as apparent as they once were. My body is not responding to the diet like it did before. My weight has gone up gradually over the last few months. I’ve got to figure out what to do to get it back down to where I like it – again, without blowing my budget. It’s one thing to be broke. I really don’t want to be broke and fat (yes, I said it).

I’m also at the point where I’m wondering if I even need to continue on the diet at all. It’s been 3 years now, which is way longer than the 6 months the doctor said I needed to give my body time to reset. I could probably easily get some answers by just taking the food sensitivity test again. But, I don’t want to spend several hundreds of dollars on it right now. Instead, I’ve started to read a book called The Plan: Eliminate the Surprising “Healthy” Foods That Are Making You Fat — and Lose Weight Fast. In the book, author Lyn-Genet Recitas outlines a way to test your reactivity to food on your own. I intend to take the time and steps to do my own testing to see if I can get a grip on what I should be eating to feel as good as possible and keep my weight in check as well. We’ll see what happens.

Thou Shalt Cook – A Debt-Free Commandment

October 17, 2019 by tanya

(Sigh) I’ve been messin’ up.

Last week, I made a few mistakes: (1) I didn’t bother to meal plan (2) I went to the grocery store without a list and (3) I didn’t cook the meal I had planned to cook.

Audio version of this post, read by the author.

The result: I’ve not been eating very healthy and I’ve been buying take-out. Would this be a big deal for most people? Of course not. But, I’m not most people; I’m quite exceptional – exceptionally fighting through the torrential rains of a nightmare storm I’ve created for myself. Translation: I’m too broke to do this type of stuff.

Up to this point, I was doing so well. For over 3 months, I was consistently setting aside time every week to figure out what I’d cook to eat over the upcoming 6 days. With a budget of $25 per week for groceries, one has to make plans, think things through and prepare a list. After having prepared, I’d go to the stores I needed to go to with my Out of Milk App at the ready, and would purchase the items I needed. Even with my small food budget, I still ended up going to multiple grocery stores. Unfortunately, one place doesn’t have everything I need at prices that make sense.

I was sure to set aside time to cook and store meals that I could quickly put together during my usually busy week. I always made a huge salad. Throughout the week, I’d take a little bit of it out of the big bowl, put it in a smaller bowl, add the dressing, then toss and serve. I also prepared two meals that could warm well in the microwave. Lastly, I’d put together a small snacky kind of item – something I could grab a little bit of when I just wanted to nibble on something. Usually, this is tuna. I can just spoon a little bit of it out of a container and have it in between meals.

My shopping list primarily consisted of vegetables, beans and some form of turkey. As I’ve said before, I have a very limited diet. I’m gluten free and dairy free. When it comes to animal-based proteins, I only consume seafood and turkey. (People often ask me why I eat this way. I’ll explain in an upcoming post.) Prior to getting serious about becoming debt free, I usually ate seafood and rarely ate turkey. Remember, I was the queen of the white tablecloth restaurants. When I sought to be frugal or to cut back on spending, I’d buy fresh salmon, shrimp and crab legs from the grocery store. Those days are over. Aside from canned tuna or salmon, I have eliminated seafood from my grocery list completely. It’s much too expensive. Turkey is cheaper and goes much further in a range of different dishes during the week.

So, last week, on the heels of what had been a super busy prior few weeks, I decided I’d just go pick up some stuff from one grocery store – a store that I’d been meaning to visit. I didn’t feel like meal planning. I didn’t have any food in the fridge and I knew I’d need something soon.

The plan was to go into the store and buy the stuff I usually buy – vegetables for salad, turkey, maybe some beans, maybe some tuna. I don’t need a list for that, I reasoned. I know what I usually get.

MIstake. Mistake. Mistake. What did I end up buying? Oh, let me show you.

Gluten-free bread ($4.99!)
Strawberry fruit spread ($3.79)
Cotton Candy grapes (these grapes, which really do taste like cotton candy, are the best grapes in all the land, but I had no business buying them because they are $3.99 per pound)
Dairy-free yogurt (2 at $1.59 per cup)
French vanilla granola (a ¼ pound at $5.49 per pound)

A bought a couple of other small things but the items above were the ones that should not have happened. The grand total for this grocery store visit was $24.84.

That’s not a bad total. Frankly, my foray into No Shopping List Land wouldn’t have been that big of a deal if I had just done what I told myself I would do – cook a meal, using what I had in the freezer and in my pantry. That would subsidize the stuff that I bought from the store. Did I do it? Nope.

As the weekend progressed, I couldn’t convince myself to cook. I didn’t feel like it. I told myself that I’d just have to eat peanut butter and strawberry fruit spread sandwiches all week (which is something I don’t normally do because I don’t usually have gluten-free bread in the house). The problem is that there weren’t enough slices in the gluten free loaf that I bought to feed me for a week.

Instead of cooking, I went on a lovely date with Mr. Nice For Now and spent the majority of the rest of the weekend working. I kept telling myself that I should go ahead and cook the rice and spinach that I’d need to eat throughout the week because the turkey was already gone and the loaf of bread would be gone soon, too. The yogurt and granola were almost gone as well.

My desire to cook during the week continued to wane. So what did Single Girl do? I justified making stops for food at quick service restaurants here and there throughout the week. I say that I “justified” it because I was in a position to buy the prepared food without, technically, breaking my October budget. I had some funds in a separate account that were surplus funds for the times that I didn’t spend all of my allocated pocket change for the month or had not fully spent the funds allocated for a different discretionary item. There was a little bit of money sitting in that account, so that’s what I used to support my fall off the wagon.

I’ve been reminded that, in order to succeed on this journey, one has to be diligent in staying focused, in following routines, and in developing habits. I fell off the wagon and I’m feeling the consequences of that.

I’ve learned 4 key lessons:

1. Cooking Is Not Optional

For where my life is right now and what I’m working on, I don’t have the option to not cook. I cannot use busyness as an excuse; I cannot use work as an excuse. It needs to be a permanent part of my lifestyle. It seems that I’ll need to start being a bit more creative in what I cook so that I feel like I’m getting a little bit of variety. But, not doing it at all just isn’t a step that I can take.

There must always be something in the fridge or on hand that I can put together quickly, so I that I don’t feel inclined to just pick up something while I’m out. With my diet, I can’t eat cheap, quick things like dry Ramen or regular bread, so I’ve got to be intentional about having meals and snacks on hand for those times that I’m feeling tired or pressed for time.

I’ve also got to remain prepared with foods that I can take with me when I won’t be at home working. What I typically do is put some tuna in a glass container, along with a couple of ice packs in my lady-style lunch bag. I take that with me when I’ll be moving around. Even that takes planning and preparation.

2. Keeping A Routine Is Essential

My falling off the wagon isn’t my biggest concern. Staying off of the wagon, however, is. As James Clear says in his book Atomic Habits, imperfection is inevitable; the key is to get back on track as soon as possible.

The first mistake is never the one that ruins you. It is the spiral of repeated mistakes that follows. Missing once is an accident. Missing twice is the start of a new habit.
~ James Clear, Atomic Habits

I’ve got a long debt repayment road ahead of me, so I must routinize money-saving activities. Since having food to eat is a multi-step process (meal planning, grocery shopping and meal preparation), I have to make sure that I have a routine – a strong set of habits – around each of the steps involved.

3. Allocation of (and Commitment to) Making Time Is Necessary

I’m literally, going to start blocking off time on my calendar for the activities surrounding my meals. Otherwise, I’ll let other things seep into the time I need to get this stuff done. It wasn’t that hard for me to fall back into old habits because living this way is still fairly new to me. With every week being different, I’ll probably designate certain days for certain activities, giving myself some flexibility on the time of day that I will do each item. For example, prior to my tumble from the wagon, I did my meal planning on Thursdays, my shopping on Fridays and my cooking on either Saturday or Sunday. When my most recent tennis season started, much of my Sunday afternoons became occupied with tennis matches. So, perhaps my cooking day will be Saturdays, when I have Sunday matches and Sundays when I don’t.

If I were trying harder to meet men, I’d do my shopping on a weekday evening, right around the time that the fellas get off work and are in the store picking up their dinner. They’re usually in the deli area or near the hot foods bar. I’ve been going to the stores on Friday afternoons and evenings because I like being in the store when there aren’t as many people around. And, I hadn’t been all that pressed to meet any one. I’m thinking that I’ll change my program soon; I’m starting to feel a greater desire to meet more people. I’ll probably change my shopping day to a day and at a time when I might be more inclined to see something I want to see. :0)

4. I’ve Got to Streamline the Process

I like the Out of Milk app that I’ve been using and will continue to use it for my shopping list and for the tracking of the costs of different grocery and household items. I feel that there’s room in other areas of the process to streamline and make it more efficient – especially during those super busy times and when I don’t feel like doing the work. One way to do that might be to focus on making more crockpot dishes. Given the time of year, stews, chilis and soups would be a great meal choice.

My Recommitment

Even though I didn’t, technically, break the budget, I spent more money than I needed to. What’s worse is that I didn’t even really enjoy my shenanigans. I didn’t have that much money to spend, so I had to go with low-cost, quick food that I don’t even particularly like. Chipotle isn’t bad; it’s just not my preference.

Plus, I want to be deliberate in the choices that I make. So, if I’m going to have a freestyle kind of week, I want to have made the active choice to do that, without feeling any reservations or guilt.

Will this one week of freestyle foolishness be highly destructive? No, of course not. If I were to continue on this pattern, would it sabotage my aims? Absolutely. I’m committing to getting back on track.