Valentine's Day

March was – let’s say – a very slow month. 

Adjusting to the COVID-19 pandemic has made this month unlike any other in my life – and the lives of most Americans. 

I went on one date early in the month. Thereafter, things started shifting as I learned more about the spread of COVID-19 and the necessity of social distancing. 

Jameson

Jameson reached out to me every day. At a minimum, he sends me a “Good Morning” text and a “Good Night” text. Throughout the day, he usually calls to check on me. At one point during the month, he brought me a flashlight because I didn’t have one. This was at the point that the American public was being told not to touch anyone and to stay away from others, but before I learned that even breathing in the same air as someone in a closed space could be a problem. 

I didn’t really need a flashlight. He uses any reason he can come up with to see me. It’s sweet that he likes to do things for me. He’s said that he likes to take whatever opportunity he can to see and/or speak. The flashlight was that reason earlier in the month. At one other point in the month, the reason was to possibly bring a mask and gloves (which he had not yet obtained). I haven’t seen him since he brought the flashlight. We’re both now clear that I won’t be seeing him or in any close contact with him for a while.

Whole Foods

This was the one date that I went on earlier this month. It was a very nice lunch date and we got the chance to catch up. Though our conversations are nice and cordial, we just don’t really have any chemistry – at least not on my end. 

We’ve spoken a couple of times since, but that’s about it.

The Original Whole Foods

I wrote about the immature dumb shit he did last month in the February Manscape report. I still haven’t heard from him.

Cigar Bar

Ahhhh. I did hear from this one in the middle of the month. Like The Original Whole Foods, he did a disappearing act last month as well. I hadn’t heard from him since mid-February – the week of Valentine’s Day until . . . March 17. Then . . .

His text: Hey, how are you? Are you staying clear of the coronavirus? 

My response: [Crickets]. 

And that’s the end of that story.

Mr. All Black

This one reached out as well. What I appreciated is that his text led with an acknowledgement that he went “MIA”. Because I respect that he started off with that, I was willing to converse with him. I knew, after how he had acted, that I wasn’t willing to deal with him in any significant way, but I was willing to talk to him. 

I was curious about why he went ghost. He started off by saying something about a car accident (even though it became apparent that the accident wasn’t on the day of our scheduled date). Eventually, he admitted that he didn’t think he had an obligation to communicate with me because we “weren’t that invested.” 

Cool. You’re right. We weren’t invested. But, we had a date scheduled for a specific day and time. The fact that we hadn’t spoken much before then doesn’t matter. What matters is that you said you were going to do something (which let me know the location of our date) and, instead of calling or texting to cancel the date, you disappeared for 4 weeks. That’s stupid and immature. 

When I was talking with him, I told him exactly how I felt about it. He apologized and admitted that he should have taken a different approach. I don’t expect to speak with him anymore.

Self-Isolation

The rest of the month was pretty quiet, like I said. I’ve texted and done some phone and video talking and flirting with a couple of guys I know, but that’s about it. I don’t intend to see any guy in person for a number of months. I’ve wrapped my mind around the likelihood of me being holed up in my condo until at least August.

This month was not without its share of fuck boy foolishness. That did not, however, make me lose sight of the enjoyable experiences I had. Despite the positive elements, I’m wondering if I should compromise the short-term good for the longer term great.

Jameson

Jameson maintained his full court press this month. We went out a couple of different times, including Valentine’s Day evening. A few times this month, he offered to bring me lunch (both of us work from home). I took him up on the offer once. The other two times just didn’t work for my schedule. 

A couple of nights ago, he took me to dinner and to an NBA basketball game. I had a great time! We had an amazing dinner time conversation and a fun time watching the game. (I love to be in an arena, by the way! I’m inspired by the energy of all of the people, the activities and the sheer size of the place.) It was an enjoyable evening. 

Before dinner, he surprised me with: (1) a nice candle, (2) a bottle of my favorite vodka (Peach Ciroc) and (3) a new stopper for my bathtub, since mine broke.  

He’s made it clear that he wants to take our relationship back to the level at which it once was – the committed romantic relationship level. He’s aware that I’m not interested in that with him at this point. He’s also said that whatever I’m willing to give, he’ll take. If that’s a periodic dinner date. Cool. If it’s a weekend getaway, we can do that. If he can just come by and sit and work while I work, he wants to do that. He’s open to everything and just wants to spend time together. 

While I appreciate the outings and nice dinner dates, I’m thinking I may have to pull back on that a bit. I’ll share more on this in a later post.

Whole Foods

Though we didn’t get together Valentine’s Day weekend, Whole Foods took us out on an awesome concert date the weekend before. He bought us the VIP experience (I’d never had that at this venue), which gave us access to a 3-story lounge area with hors d’oeuvres and a rooftop deck. He got us seats on the floor in the 6th row. I danced, danced, danced and had a great time!

He got us seats on the floor in the 6th row. I danced, danced, danced and had a great time!

~ single girl

He texted me late on Valentine’s Day. We played some phone tag during the following week and, when the ball was back in his court, he gave up and waited until week later or so to try me again. He called me on a Sunday asking me if I could connect that day. I was working, so I declined. He’s asked that I let him know when I can get together with him again. My brother is in town. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get together. 

Again, while I appreciate the outings and nice dinner dates, I’m thinking I may have to pull back on that a bit, too. I’ll share more on this in a later post.

The Original Whole Foods

I’ve known The Original Whole Foods for many years. Click here for a brief story about how we met. When we dated, we had a good time. He’s a great looking man. He’s cultured, well-traveled and fun. 

All that aside, he did some real fuck boy shit. He reached out to me out of the blue and said he wanted to get together to catch up. It’s been awhile since we’ve gone out or even hung out at all – probably at least 8 years. He reached out at the end of January and said that he’d like to catch up after his travels, in early February. I told him that was fine. We didn’t speak or text in the interim. 

He reached out in early February, as he said he would, and asked about my schedule. We were texting on a Monday. I told him I could meet Thursday. He said, “Thursday works for me, too.” I replied, asking him what time and place he had in mind. 

I haven’t heard from him since. 

If I, intuitively, felt that something was wrong, I’d take a different approach. But, rarely is something actually wrong in these situations. I’ve lived and dated long enough to know that.

~ single girl

You might be saying to yourself, “Well maybe something happened to him.” I’m saying no such thing to myself. Though he’s never done that in the years I’ve known him, my intuition isn’t telling me that something went awry. I’m thinking he’s on some inconsiderate bullshit. I take a pretty firm position on how I handle being stood up. If I, intuitively, felt that something was wrong, I’d take a different approach. But, rarely is something actually wrong in these situations. I’ve lived and dated long enough to know that.

Cigar Bar

When I met Cigar Bar he had recently moved to my city. He was focused on his new job, but was also interested in getting acclimated with the city. He said that he wanted to do some of that exploring with me. We talked and texted about some cool parts of town for him to consider for more permanent housing (he was in temporary, corporate housing at the time), as well as some fun hangout spots in the area. We went out a couple of times and, based on the 2 dates we had, I had a desire to continue to get to know him. 

Earlier in the month he closed on a condo purchase in the city. Through text and phone conversations, he expressed his excitement. I was excited for him! I didn’t see him while he was moving because he canceled a date we had scheduled due to his desire to focus on his move. Once he moved into his new place, he reached out, told me he was settled in and asked me to go out that upcoming weekend. 

That upcoming weekend was Valentine’s Day weekend. I already had plans with Jameson for Valentine’s Day night and I thought I had plans with The Original Whole Foods on Thursday night. So, Saturday was all I had available. That Monday at 5:10 p.m. I told him that Saturday would work. The following evening I hadn’t received a confirmation from him, so I asked him if we were doing Saturday evening. (This was a mistake, by the way. It normally wouldn’t be my style to say anything. Either he follows up or he doesn’t. But, for some reason, I got beside myself and reached out to confirm.) I didn’t hear anything from him until the next morning.

Him: Hey, sorry, I had a long work day yesterday. Can you do Friday? I know Friday is Valentine’s Day and I don’t want to make our relationship more than it is so no pressure if that doesn’t work for you.

Me: No

He didn’t respond and we haven’t communicated at all since . . . and we won’t, unless he reaches out to me first. He’s just not that into me. I can tell that now. 

Mr. All Black

Remember, Mr. All Black? We had a date scheduled for a couple of weeks ago. He had told me that he’d be in Miami for the Superbowl, so he set a day and time for us to get together upon his return. He told me that he’d let me know the location of our meeting. Great! 

The Tuesday after the Superbowl, he texted me, saying, “What’s up stranger? Hope your day is going well thus far.”

Red Flag #1 – “What’s Up Stranger?”

This is some passive-aggressive weak man talk that I don’t find to be attractive. Let’s break this one down. First of all, the “stranger” reference was his way of expressing his confusion about why I hadn’t contacted him at all. You’re the one who was in Miami for the Superbowl. I was delighted for you and encouraged you to have a great time. Was I, as a woman who just met you, supposed to be checking in with you to see how you were doing on your getaway weekend? 

First of all, the “stranger” reference was his way of expressing his confusion about why I hadn’t contacted him at all. You’re the one who was in Miami for the Superbowl.

~ single girl

Second, I don’t usually initiate contact with men with whom I haven’t been out. You scheduled a date, you went out of town, and you said you’d reach out to give me the information on the meeting location. I don’t know what I needed to say to you in the meantime. 

Red Flag #2 – Where Are We Meeting?

Again, you, Sir, said that you would get back to me about where we should meet. So, while you were texting and making chit chat about your Miami trip, you should have given me the information you said you’d provide. I shouldn’t have to ask you. I shouldn’t have to remind you (if I have to remind you that you have plans with me, you’re really not that into me). 

Our text conversation continued.  I told him my day was going well and asked him how his day was going. I also asked him how his Miami trip went. 

Him: Day is going great! Miami was excellent, minus it raining just about the whole time lol. My team won tho!

Me: Lol! That’s great! I’m glad you had a good time and your team won. 

That was on a Tuesday. Our date was scheduled for Friday. Friday came and went. I haven’t heard from him and I’ve said nothing.

Mr. Nice For Now

I haven’t seen Mr. Nice For Now since November, when he went to Asia for 5 weeks. I told him in January that I wasn’t interested in continuing our relationship. I heard from him once during January, but we haven’t communicated since. I thought I might miss his companionship, but I don’t. I enjoyed it while I had it, but I realize that letting it go was a good thing to do. 

What a month. There were some highlights, but they came with some unusual lowlights. Welcome to dating, right? 

How did the month go for you? Anything juicy?