Did you know that today is National Compliment Day? I didn’t. But I like it.
Giving a genuine, well-meaning compliment is such a simple, but powerful, way to not only uplift the spirit of another, but to raise your own vibration level as well. Since today is a day that is specifically designated for this kind-hearted gesture, I thought I ought to delve into the subject a bit . . . from a single girl perspective.
I think we can agree that women are more accustomed to receiving verbal praise than men. The more attractive a woman is deemed to be, the more she is likely to receive flattering comments on a regular basis. If she’s in a city or country in which men generally feel very comfortable expressing themselves to women, she’s even more likely to be a regular recipient of words of admiration.
Women, who tend (I’m not saying we’re all like this) to be less forward with men they know, don’t seem to give nearly as much praise to men and they, themselves, receive. I know I don’t. I’m gracious in receiving them, but I don’t always return each one with another.
Men Don’t Receive Enough Compliments
I don’t have any scientific evidence of this, but I’ve lived long enough to know that men don’t receive enough positive communication from women. In an article from Melmagazine.com, a man is quoted as saying, “Back in December a girl told me she really liked my shoes . . . I’m still riding the high on that compliment.” I’m not an advocate for pandering to anyone – man or woman – but I do believe that honest, kind words go a long way. And I’m happy to dish them out. I can’t recall a time at which I’ve given a man a compliment and it wasn’t met with either pleasant surprise, a very warm smile, enthusiastic appreciation or a return sweet comment.
It’s Good For You
Women can benefit from giving expressing admiration to men. Genuinely saying something nice to someone makes you feel good. When you give a man a compliment – remember, they don’t get them nearly as often as we do – you’ll see the expression of gratitude on his face. You can’t help but feel good about that.
It’s a Great Way To Flirt
When you compliment a man, you’ve opened the door for him to feel comfortable speaking with you. He may have wanted to talk to you, but just didn’t bring himself to do it. By you saying something to him – something as benign as, “What a beautiful tie you’re wearing,” he feels that he can now have a conversation with you. In fact, it would be rude of him to not say something to you. At the very least, he should reply with a “thank you” or a “‘’preciate that.” If he has an interest in knowing you more, this is his opportunity to give you a compliment, ask you your name, or begin any other conversation.
When you compliment a man, you’ve opened the door for him to feel comfortable speaking with you.”
~ Single Girl
Last week, I was in the grocery store and passed a good-looking guy as I walked down the tea aisle. I was in a rush and I was there to pick up only 2 things and get out. He seemed to be in a rush, too. However . . . I saw out of my peripheral vision that he did the look back (you know what I’m talking about) after he passed me. I thought to myself, “Hmmmm . . . he’s cute . . . rockin’ his black sweater, black jeans and black Chucks.” I continued to the check-out line.
As I would do in any situation, I turned around to look at the person who stepped into the line behind me in the check out. Guess who it was? Yes, Mr. All Black Everything. When I turned around, I said to him, “I really like your look.” This was true. Remember, I had already been thinking that his all black look was dope. I just hadn’t said anything as I rushed passed him toward the checkout.
His response: I like yours, too.
“NEXT!,” the cashier called out, breaking up our little in-line conversation. I stepped up to check out. He went to the next available cashier. He walked out of the store before I did. When I made it out of the store, Mr. All Black Everything was standing on the sidewalk. Hmmm . . .maybe he’s waiting for an Uber. Nope. He was waiting for me. Long story short: he picked up the conversation and made sure to get my number before we each got into our cars.
I can’t say I was really intending to flirt with Mr. All Black Everything. I just thought he was cute and liked the look he put together for himself. Genuinely. When I had an easy opportunity to tell him so, I did, and it led to a further conversation.
The Kind of Compliments I Give Men I Don’t Know
I’ll compliment men on any number of things. My only rule for my compliment-giving is that it be genuine – that I’m not just saying it to say it. Below are some of my go-to phrases.
- “Beautiful shoes.”
- “Well, don’t you look dapper.” (Usually if he’s got on a suit or tux or looks like he’s going to a special event.)
- “Look at those waves!” (For guys who have low fade haircuts and put effort into having wavy hair. It really matters to them.)
- “Beautiful teeth.”
- “You smell nice.”
You’ll note that these are acknowledgements of a particular attribute, article of clothing or accessory they’re wearing. None of these statements are bombastic. Grand statements, like “Ooooo, you’re so fine,” or something like that are comments I’m not likely to make without first receiving that kind of comment from him. Though men appreciate being told nice things, those big statements can make them uncomfortable – so uncomfortable that they just don’t know what to say or do. If, for example, you tell a man that he’s “gorgeous” or “stunning,” and he doesn’t find you to be equally as beautiful, he’s not going to know what to say in response. No decent man wants to hurt a woman’s feelings (that’s why some of them just lie and ghost women), so he might feel uneasy in the face of such a lofty statement from a woman.
I’m also cognizant of staying away from behavior that can be classified as “thirsty.” I’m happy to return a grand compliment like that (if I find him to be attractive), but I’m more likely to say something about his outfit or his smile before I’m going to give him an overall “you’re super amazing-looking” kind of affirmation.
However you choose to go about doing it, ladies, be sure to say something nice to someone on this here National Compliment Day. . . and on future days as well. Specifically, consider complimenting a man. They just don’t get lauded enough and it doesn’t cost you anything to share a kind word. If you’re not used to giving compliments to men you don’t know, I encourage you to try it. You’ll feel great and it’ll TOTALLY brighten his day. You might even end up sparking a conversation. You never know where that could lead. 😉